I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
