Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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