Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
