jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
