Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
