just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
