i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
