i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
