he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
