After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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