Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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