hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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