Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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