So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
