bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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