Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
