yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize