We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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