just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
