Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
