we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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