i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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