My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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