did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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