I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
