My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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