Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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