listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
