i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
