i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
