we made out on top of his cat.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
