I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
