this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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