you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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