A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The feeling are messing with the penis
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
