Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do herpes really smell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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