***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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