I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
