i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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