I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
