Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize