You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
