Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You're like the curious george of whores
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
