her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
