Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
