Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
