DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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