I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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