the condom got lost in my hair
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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