Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
