Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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