i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I licked your asshole in confidence.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
