return my video game
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
