We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
