which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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