So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
