I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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